Olympic gold medalist Laurie Hernandez has opened up about the horrific verbal abuse she faced from gymnastics coach Maggie Haney for more...
Olympic gold medalist Laurie Hernandez has opened up about the horrific verbal abuse she faced from gymnastics coach Maggie Haney for more than a decade - after testifying at a hearing that saw the trainer suspended by USA Gymnastics for eight years.
Hernandez, 19, took to Instagram on Thursday evening to share an emotional post about the mistreatment she suffered at the hands of Haney over an 11-year period from the age of five - revealing how the coach would verbally abuse her in front of others, force her to train on 'multiple injuries', and convince other adults to ignore the gymnast's concerns.
'I had so many experiences that lead to multiple panic attacks where I'd just stand in front of the equipment and... cry. Hard,' Hernandez, who was a member of the USA Gymnastics team that one gold in Rio 2016, wrote. 'I felt like I couldn't breathe, and I wanted to go home but I couldn't cause I was just a kid.'
Speaking out: Olympic gymnast Laurie Hernandez has opened up about the horrific abuse she faced at the hands of her former coach Maggie Haney
Tearful: Hernandez, now 19, trained with Haney, 42, for 11 years, during which time she says the coach verbally abused her, left her in tears, and forced her to workout on injuries
She went on: 'She'd sometimes yell so loud people could hear her from the parking lot outside. She'd get other adults to side with her; so if I tried to speak up to them, it was still, always my fault.
'I'd learned what every pose and micro-expression meant in the eleven years I was with her. With just a look I could be in tears.
'She'd humiliate me in front of others without a doubt, constantly make comments about me gaining weight, have me work out on multiple injuries, curse at me, point out the way I cried in front of others, and much more that goes beyond my own words.'
Shocking: 'I had so many experiences that lead to multiple panic attacks where I'd just stand in front of the equipment and... cry. Hard,' Hernandez wrote
The gymnast, who returned to training in 2018 in the hopes of landing a spot on the next Olympic team, explained that she never expected to 'share her story with the world', but after being called to testify at a hearing about 42-year-old Haney's mistreatment of athletes, she felt it was time to speak up.
'The idea of sharing my story with the world feels extremely nerve wracking and vulnerable... but after hearing positive results last night from the panel, I felt that sharing my story could help others, or at least raise awareness [of] emotional and verbal abuse,' she wrote in her Instagram post.
Hernandez went on to recall waking up in tears every morning, 'worried about the yelling and anger that lay ahead for the day', explaining that she tried to talk to Haney about her behavior but was always met with excuses, and even punishment, for speaking up.
'I tried to tell this person that their reactions made me uncomfortable and distressed, or that their loaded words hurt, or that that style of coaching didn't work for me,' she said.
'The response was always along the lines of: "I've never done that," "That never happened," "You're making things up," 'You're too sensitive," "Stop taking things so personally." And many, many other excuses, which typically lead to me apologizing for causing her trouble.'
Hernandez admits that she spent years questioning herself, wondering whether she was being 'dramatic' or 'too sensitive' - and even worrying that her fear and upset might 'all be in her head'.
'It's what I was convinced of and I thought I was going crazy,' she confessed.
Moving on: The Instagram post came just hours after Hernandez, pictured at the Rio 2016 Games, testified at a hearing that saw Haney handed an eight-year ban by USA Gymnastics
Looking ahead: Hernandez, pictured in recent Instagram images, is now training in California, and is hoping to earn a spot on the 2021 Olympic gymnastics team
The gymnast says she tried to speak to her parents about 'small version of what was happening', which would often result in her mother, Wanda, calling Haney to discuss her behavior.
Haney would placate Wanda, explain away Hernandez's concerns as a misunderstanding, and made it seem as though the issue was resolved. However, the next day, when Hernandez entered the gym, her coach would confront her and reprimand her for speaking out about what was going on.
'...I came into practice the next day and she'd be furious that someone confronted her,' Hernandez recalled. 'Her anger at my mother's phone calls became so strong, she'd take it out on me during practice. Then she'd take it out on my teammates.
'From then on I stopped sharing what was happening to my parents, and told them constantly that practice was "fine". I kept my workouts a secret for a while. All of it.'
After competing in the 2016 Olympics, where she helped Team USA win gold, while also earning an individual silver medal on balance beam, Hernandez took a break away from training, and from Haney. However it was then that her mother found out what had been happening in the gym, when she overheard a FaceTime conversation between Hernandez and a fellow athlete.
'During fall of 2016, I had a FaceTime call with one of my teammates, and we joked about something that happened at practice a while before. My mom overheard our conversation and was appalled,' the gymnast wrote.
'She sat me down, and I gave in and told her everything. She wrote it down and immediately sent it to USAG.'
Hernandez went on to explain that the abuse she suffered at the hands of Haney for so many years was the reason why she took so much time off from the sport after the 2016 Games - only returning to training in 2018, when she set her sights on a spot in the 2020 team.
Suspended: Haney, who also trained 2018 world champion gymnast Riley McCusker, was accused of fat-shaming girls as young as 10
Hitting back: McCusker, 18, wrote a letter criticizing Haney's behavior, which was used as evidence in the hearing against the coach
'I thought I hated gymnastics, and it wasn't until mid 2018 that I realized it was the people that made the experience bad, not the sport itself,' she said.
She made the decision to move across the country, leaving her home in New Jersey in order to live in California, where she began training with coach Jenny Liang, at Gym-Max Academy of Gymnastics - former gym of 2012 Olympic medalist Kyla Ross.
Since arriving in California, Hernandez says she has been working to 'unlearn a lot of bad habits', both physically and mentally, adding that her 'mental health journey has been quite a rollercoaster' for the past two years.
The gymnast is now focusing on training for the next Olympics - which have been postponed until the summer of 2021 amid the coronavirus pandemic. However her training faced a shocking disruption when she was asked to testify against Haney at a USAG hearing that investigated the coach's mistreatment of athletes, including Hernandez herself.
'To have to speak at a hearing four years after, while training for 2020, was a painful surprise to say the least,' she admitted. 'I wasn't expecting to speak up about all of it during my comeback. It threw me off guard and quietly affected my life in and out of the gym.'
Hernandez concluded her post on a poignant note, urging readers to understand that the kind of 'behavior and treatment' Haney subjected her to 'is never okay', while adding that she will likely carry the trauma of the abuse for the rest of her life.
'There are somethings from my experience that will unfortunately stick with me forever, and I'll always be working to heal from it - but sharing my story gives me a chance to close the chapter, take a deep breath, and start something new,' she wrote.
'For years I twas taught not to listen to my body or my mind, but now I've learned to trust my gut, and know that my experience and feelings are valid. No one gets to decide those things for me. Now that this weight has been pulled off me, I don't mind sharing my story. Here's to speaking up.'
Rocky road: Haney's suspension comes as USAG is still dealing with the scandal over former national team doctor Larry Nassar, who sexually abused dozens of athletes
Hernandez's candid post came just hours after Haney was handed an eight-year ban by USAG, which found her guilty of verbal abuse and mistreatment of athletes at a Thursday hearing.
On its online list of suspended and restricted persons, USAG says that Haney is 'suspended from all contact' from Thursday until April 30, 2028.
Haney was accused of verbally abusing and mistreating gymnasts, forcing them to train even if injured, according to multiple reports.
Haney owns the MG Elite Gymnastics in Morganville, New Jersey, where she also trained Riley McCusker, who was on the US team that won gold at the 2018 Doha World Championships.
McCusker wrote a letter critical of the coach that was used as evidence in the hearing, which saw an independent panel investigating the complaints of abuse against Haney, who was accused by parents and other witnesses of humiliating gymnasts, sometimes 'fat shaming' girls as young as 10.
She is barred from membership of the federation and is not allowed to train any athlete from USA Gymnastics or its member clubs for eight years.
Haney will have to undergo a two-year probation at the end of that period before any eventual return to the sport.
The case comes during a troubled time for US Gymnastics, which is still shaken by the scandal over former national team doctor Larry Nassar, who was jailed for sexually abusing dozens of athletes.
In 2018, Nassar was sentenced to 40-125 years in prison for abusing female gymnasts while supposedly treating them.
The federation in January offered Nassar's victims a $215 million settlement, which has been criticized by some of them, including Olympic medalists Simone Biles and Aly Raisman.
They are demanding an independent investigation to determine if there were others responsible for allowing the abuse.
A US Senate investigation found that 'multiple institutions' failed to adequately respond to credible allegations against Nassar.
No comments