A woman has opened up about the heartbreak of having to deliver her miscarried baby alone in the hospital amid the coronavirus pandemic af...
A woman has opened up about the heartbreak of having to deliver her miscarried baby alone in the hospital amid the coronavirus pandemic after nearly dying of sepsis.
Ashley Lemieux, author and founder of The Shine Project, was 16 weeks pregnant when she was diagnosed with sepsis from an unknown kidney infection that had spread to her blood.
In an essay for Health.com, the 33-year-old from Phoenix, Arizona, recalled the moment in March when she was wheeled away from her husband, Mike, into the hospital, where she would later miscarry their son, Jayce.
Heartbreak: Author Ashley Lemieux, 33, from Phoenix, Arizona, was 16 weeks pregnant when she miscarried her son and had to deliver him alone amid the coronavirus pandemic
Fighting for her life: Ashley was hospitalized in March after being diagnosed with sepsis from an unknown kidney infection that had spread to her blood
Ashley explained that she had started experiencing crippling stomach pain and cramping earlier that night. She questioned whether or not she should go to the emergency room because of the risk of COVID-19, but the pain eventually became too much to bear.
She noted that it was 'still in the early days of the coronavirus pandemic,' so Mike was allowed to be with her as she awaited her tests and bloodwork in the ER.
However, when it was time to have an ultrasound to check on their baby, she had to go alone.
'I was terrified—being forced to see whether my baby was alive or not, without my husband's hand to hold,' she wrote.
When the doctor came out, he told them that their baby was fine, but Ashley was extremely sick with sepsis and had to be hospitalized immediately—without any visitors.
Ashley said she 'took a turn for the worse' three days into her hospital stay, saying it felt like her 'entire body was shutting down.'
Blink of an eye: The Shine Project founder shared a photo of her baby bump just days before she was hospitalized
Loss: After three days in the hospital, Ashely miscarried her baby. She admitted she was initially 'disgusted' by her postpartum stomach, which was between pregnant and not
She was given oxygen and had an EKG to check her heart. She was initially told that her 'baby was OK,' but the next day, she learned her unborn child no longer had a heartbeat.
'My body—after withstanding a kidney infection and sepsis—wasn't able to sustain the pregnancy, and I had suffered a miscarriage,' she recalled. 'Once they left the room, my nurse sat on my bed and grabbed my hand. Tears streamed down my face. My body went numb.
'My sepsis had almost taken my life, and it was too much for my pregnancy to withstand—my baby didn't make it because of how sick I was.'
Ashley said she told the nurse that she needed her husband with her because it was 'too much for a person to handle alone.' While the nurse agreed with her, the hospital would not allow her to have any visitors, even her husband.
She then FaceTimed her mother and sister, who spent hours in the hospital's parking lot crying with her and assuring her that she wasn't alone. She started having contractions the next day.
'I delivered the baby I had just miscarried—my angel boy—alone in a small hospital observation room,' she said. 'He came fast, so I experienced everything completely by myself—it was the most horrific experience I have ever been through.'
Heart-wrenching: She was finally reunited with her husband in the labor and delivery unit, where they were able to say goodbye to their baby boy together
Still together: Loved ones stood outside Ashley's hospital window to support her as she mourned the loss
Loss: Early on in their marriage, Ashley and Mike became the permanent guardians of two children but were unable to adopt them. In 2017, the kids returned to their biological family
Ashley was finally able to be reunited with her husband after she was taken to the hospital's labor and delivery unit, where she and Mike said goodbye to their son together.
She shared photos of the moment on Instagram while opening up about the meaning behind their son's name.
'The name Jayce means "Healer." That’s exactly who Jayce has been for us,' she wrote. 'This baby healed us in ways we never thought we’d experience again, and showed us that there is a beautiful life that is still waiting for us to live.
'Our hearts are cracked wide open again, but this time, we have Jayce as a guardian angel to help light our way,' she added. 'We spent precious time with our baby boy this morning to say our final goodbyes. His little hat fits in the palm of his daddy’s hand.'
She later shared a photo of her postpartum body while opening up about how she felt it had betrayed her and her son.
'I was disgusted by a stomach that I felt was in between being pregnant and not pregnant—wanting a full bump back or wanting no bump at all,' she wrote in her Health.com essay.
Ashley said she had to remind herself that her stomach housed her son, and her immune system had kept her alive as she battled sepsis.
Excited: After announcing her pregnancy in February, Ashley shared pictures of her sonograms and growing baby bump with her followers until she miscarried
Hard to handle: In her latest post, Ashley opened up about mourning the loss of her child while her sister is pregnant
She also reflected on the strength she had in that heartbreaking moment that she had to deliver her baby boy by herself.
'For any of you who feel afraid right now—anyone who's about to deliver a baby or undergo treatments or are sick and alone—I want to say that there is a strength inside of you waiting to be called upon,' she wrote.
'I thought I needed my people in the most excruciating moment of my life, but what I learned was that I also really needed myself.'
Ashley has been candid about the losses she and Mike have experienced over the years. Early on in their marriage, they became the permanent guardians of two children and built a family.
After three years together, they went to fully adopt their two kids. However, the children's biological family contested adoption and the court terminated Ashley and Mike's permanent guardianship.
In January 2017, the state decided to reunite the children with their biological family. Ashley, who was out of town on a work trip, had to say goodbye through a letter.
'The grief is overwhelming, but in our darkest time, we have hope,' Ashley wrote on Instagram at the time. 'Hope for all of our futures, hope that the love of God will continue to be present in all of our lives, and hope that we will learn how to fully live again.'